Interviews with the X men
by PyroManaic
Summary: This is where I will interview the X men (and the brotherhood and acolytes). Alot bashing of every character in the good way. Plz R&R!
1. Baldy's Bashing

**Disclaimer:**

**I do NOT own the x men and I am not repeating this every chapter so don't sue me!**

**Summery:**

**This fanfic is an Interview bet ya you didn't know that! This where I will interview all the X men, Brotherhood and Acolytes. And I will hope that you will send in your questions so they can answer them!**

**INTERVIEW WITH THE X MEN (and the brother and acolytes)**

Chapter 1: Interview with Professor Xavier 

Good morning, afternoon or evening which ever time your reading this. Welcome to Interview with the X men (and the brotherhood and acolytes). Today we have Charles Xavier, the man who made the X men. I, DragonMaster2 (I know my name is dragonmaster02 but someone nicked it so I have to have that one instead) will be the host and interviewer of this fanfic. Lets begin.

"Welcome Charles, can I call you Chuck?"

"Hello DragonMaster2, no, can I call you an idiot?"

"No"

"Right, then"

"Lets begin"

"You already said that"

"Shut up"

"Make me"

"Oh really?"

"Bring it on!"

"Why I oughta…"

"DragonMaster2 sit down, and stop gnawing on Professor X's leg!"

Out comes Dragzer my talking dragon that breathes fire and if your arse is in the way it burns, and it bloody hurts!

"DragonMaster2!"

"What?"

"Your meant to interview this man, not eat him!"

"He tastes like chicken"

"Actually humans taste like pork"

"I knew it Dragzer you been eating humans!"

"No I ain't"

"Yes you have!"

"Can we get back to me!?"

"Fine!"

So we all sit back in our chairs (well wheelchair for baldy).

"Don't call me Baldy!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"DRAGONMASTER2!"

"Alright, alright. Charles what's up with you and your brother?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Stupid idiot…" DragonMaster2 (that's me!) muttered.

"DragonMast..."

"Umm…. Well why are you and your brother always fighting?"

"Well as you can see I have no hair (puts his fingers through imagery hair and sniffles) but my brother does, well I got so jealous I made him believe he has no hair. And he still believes that he still has no hair, so he has been trying to get back at me by trying to beat me into a bloody pulp. So I had to put him in the liquid stuff and lock him up, and even when I took it off he still wants to rip me apart. I am so sorry, Juggernaut!" Chuck then starts crying.

"Don't worry Baldy its OK he will forgive you one day"

"He will? Well why am I sad then?"

"That would take a lot of therapy to sort that out, but as I don't care lets move on to the next question, Chuck do you shave your head every day or are you just a slap head?"

"Well…um"

"Don't lie now"

"Fine! I'm a slap head are you happy?!"

"Pretty much"

"Oh look what you did you made him cry again!" Dragzer was obviously was pointing out the obvious.

As his crying was getting on my nerves, I got an idea (like wow never got one before!)

"Hey, Charlie why don't you just make everyone believes you have hair?"

"That's a great idea, someone get me a hair magazine!"

Someone god knows who gives him a hair magazine, he flicks through.

"I think I'll have this one!"

On top of his head is long, curly blonde hair right down to the floor.

"I'm a rock star now!"

He starts nodding his head making his hair and down you know what I'm talking about, I hope.

"Creepy, so Chucky how did you become handicapped?"

"I used to defend the world bravely no foe could beat me, until my legs got crushed…"

Suspiciously he looks away. Using my brain (I'm so gonna have headache in the morning) I suspect he's not telling the truth! So I give him one of my evil glares, if we were in the Ice Age it would have been Sea World (its so evil it melts things!)

"Alright, alright, when I was young, Magneto (yes the man that collects paperclips to scare people coz he can control metal things) and I were playing dare and he dared me to 'play' with a electronic saw and lets say that my legs were in the way"

"But you still have your legs now"

"Oh after the accident we stapled them back on"

"Okay"

"What you don't believe me? Go on look"

Charlie then shows us his scar where his legs are being stuck together by several staples.

"Do you know one of your legs are back to front?"

"It is? Oh yeah"

"Sorry Chuck, but its time to go, we've gone over time and I'm sick of talking to ya"

"I told you not to call me Chuck, Idiot"

"Is that a threat?"

"Come on then"

"Dinner!" Someone called.

"Food!" Me and Chucky yell, Chucky gives me the evils, looks like he's constipated to me. We run, well I run and Chucky wheels backstage for some fish'n'chips (yumm, starts drooling)

**Now, you know you want to press that button that says go, we all know.**

**And remember to send in your questions in ready for either Magneto or Cyclops not sure which one to do next. REVIEW!**


	2. Cyke's Replacement

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own X-men: Evolution or Bad Dog and all that Hollywood Hoo-Hah, so don't sue me, I'm very poor…. Ooo! A penny! Mwuhahahahaha I'm rich!**

**Note:**

**That penny's mine! Its Maggie's turn! I have now changed my name to PyroManaic but in this story it shall stay DragonMaster2. Thank you to iamhollywood, fanz70867high and Anc7. Oh, please no flames just advise and compliments.**

* * *

**Interview with Cyclops**

3…..2…..1

KKKKAAAABBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"What? What? Is Boom-boom here?" DragonMaster2 Says.

"No it was Scott Summers' trailer blowing up"

"That's it?"

As the smoke begun to clear, the shattered door of the trailer swung open and Scott Summers a.k.a Cyclops staggered out. His dorky clothes hung in smoking tatters, his face was a soot-blackened mess and his hair stood on end, the tips still burning.

"I…I…who…wha…" he choked.

Before he could say anything else, three guys in fire fighting uniforms stepped forward and hoisted fire extinguishers on to their shoulders. They then let the full force of three hi-power foam extinguishers caught him square in the face. The fire fighters stuck to their job. They emptied those suckers all over the guy. It took a while, too. Long enough for me to realize that my host for fanfic was being smothered in foam and would be bloody pissed off and refuse to do my story! By the time they finished, Cyclops was just a pile of foam, his sunglasses the only part of him still visible. A plume of black smoke rose from the top of the foam. He looked like a barbecued ice-cream sundae.

"WHO…DID…THIS?!" screamed the pile of foam.

"Hey have you seen a bomb some vhere?" A beefy Bavarian bellowed.

"Yeah and an explosive"

"Oops…"

"What happened?!" the foam screamed again.

"Vell, ve vere filming a movie called Cake Fear in ze other studio, and our dog vas meant to take avay ze bomb but I guess it vas real and you know…" behind the man was a scruffy looking dog.

"No one was hurt," DragonMaster2 stated.

"Hey what about me?" Scott whines.

"No one was hurt," I repeated (am I giving you guys a headache changing from 1st to 3rd person? Well get used to it)

"Well I'm not doing this Interview anymore!" Scooter shrieks (my ears!).

While he was moaning that no one cares about him Magneto passes by. I grin evilly.

"Hello, Maggie"

Magneto stops walking and looks at me. He began to run away.

"I love when they run, makes it more interesting" DragonMaster2 says as she runs after Mags, a loud banging of metal can be heard moments afterwards.

* * *

Now lets start this Interview shall we……………**Interview with Magneto**

"Welcome back"

We are now in the studio where Magneto has many dents in his bucket, a bleeding nose and a torn cape, DragonMaster2 on the other hand had changed her outfit for the 16th time today.

"Welcome back to Interview with the X-men we now instead of Cyclops have Magneto" I pronounce.

"I must kill Summers, I would of gotten away if it wasn't for that ditch…" Mags mumbles.

With us already is Dragzer! My lovely but annoying Dragon, which in this fanfic plays the role of my brain.

"Hello brain of mine!"

"I hate my life" Dragzer whimpers.

"Well I do too, don't see me complaining" (I don't hate my life if I'm getting reviews hint hint)

"Right I have a question for Bucket Head, why do you want mutants to rule the world?"

"So I will be the ruler of the world and everyone will wear my bucket… I mean helmet and suffer! Mwuhahahahahaha"

"Oh I've got a question about your bucket…"

"Helmet" Magneto corrects DragonMaster2, but DragonMaster2 doesn't care as she is looking through a lot of paperwork because she forget that all the questions for Magneto is right beside her, on her table.

"I knew that" DragonMaster2 says all shifty eyed.

"You knew that because you wrote it" Dragzer being my puny brain points out.

"Don't you ever shut up?"

No response.

"Found it! Mags, what's up with the dorky helmet/bucket?"

"To tell you the truth because I know are going to force me to say it anyway, well when I was young someone had put super glue into a bucket and put on a slightly open door, I was the unfortunate one to open the door and have the bucket fall on my head, its been stuck ever since"

"So you lied it blocks telepaths?"

"That is true" looks down shamefully, only to see DragonMaster2 rolling around of the floor in fits in laughter.

Magneto's face is like this: --

DragonMaster2 finally calms down during this though Mags had gotten a drink and was reading Woman (it's a magazine).

"Hey, Bucket Head got another question, do you get lost using a compass?"

"Yes, why?"

"HAHA!" (read at the bottom of this fanfic to understand this joke)

"Wait where you going?"

"Home" Magneto is walking off stage.

"Security!"

Two huge dragons tackle Magneto to the ground (they obey me because I'm the DragonMaster).

"Next question, Mags when you were fighting Wolverine, why didn't you just take control of his bones? They were metal you know"

"Metal! Mwuhahahaha!" Mags is now using his 'creepy' paperclips to fly around the room reminding DragonMaster2 that she has an Interview with Pyro soon. (not next to interview soz!)

"Saying it would have been funny to see all the metal fly around the room including Wolverine" DragonMaster2 now talking to Dragzer. Just on cue Wolverine is now flying around the room with several crew members and the remains of Cyke's trailer.

"Well good bye Magneto!" I scream over his insane cackling (can't wait to interview Pyro!)

"I wander where the pile of foam is?"

"You mean Scott?"

DragonMaster2 and Dragzer walk off stage to do God knows what.

THE END (for now)

Right, for the joke on the compass (I don't own that compass, oh wait yes I do) and Magneto, well in the comics whenever Magneto was around anything everything went magnetic right? So a compass wouldn't work right coz he would be a magnet and compasses always point to a magnet either to the north magnet or a magnet very close by, you get it? If you don't tell me.

Next to interview is the person with the most questions so SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS FOR THE X-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another note: That is penny is mine and I'm watching you!

Good-bye

DragonMaster2


End file.
